getting a divorce

Getting a Divorce: Is It Really Possible to Preserve My Sanity?

Divorce is anything but simple. Having to let go of something that you have invested so much of your time and yourself takes a toll on people. It might seem impossible to preserve your sanity amongst all the chaos.

All aspects of your life may seem to be falling apart, and you may not feel in control of anything. The latter could be true, but one thing you will always have control over is yourself. It is important not to lose sight of that. Read on to find out about things you could do to remain sane during a divorce.

Make yourself Acquainted with the Process.

Not understanding the procedure of what is one of the biggest legal and emotional battles you’ll fight in your life can naturally induce anxiety. Combat those feelings of unease by informing yourself as much as possible beforehand. There are plenty of books and online resources that can help you. However, you need to keep in mind that there is no definite one-size-fits-all guide on how to get a divorce.

Proper preparation is key, you will be more confident about your demands if you are aware of what is going on. If detailed learning seems like something your mental capacity can’t afford right now, you’ll discover that there is a calming effect in simply knowing what the next step in the procedure will be.

Keep Your Eye On The Bigger Picture

Even thinking about change can stress people out, however, what affects one, even more, is the path to that change. One of the vital steps in preserving your sanity should be taking a deep breath and telling yourself that this is temporary and will pass.

All of the meetings, paperwork, responsibilities, court dates, etc., may seem overwhelming at first, however, coming to terms with the fact that all this has an end date may help you cope better.

Let Yourself Grieve

You may be incredibly angry or hurt, most probably both. However, you need to accept that it’s alright to grieve. It is only normal that you will feel some sort of sadness when a relationship of many years where you invested so much of yourself with a person (someone you have children with) ends.

You once shared your life with that particular person, and no matter why you’re separating, it doesn’t change that fact. So, allow yourself to identify and tend to your wounds.

Ensure Respectful Interactions With Your Former Partner

It can be very tempting to take your frustration of a failed marriage out on your ex. Many couples use the legal system to seek vengeance publicly. However, acting on these emotions will prolong the process and increase its toll on your finances and mental health more.

A simple way to be respectful is to treat your former partner how you would like to be treated. It is difficult to be nice once you’re mean, so try being nice from the start. Stop yourself and reflect before lashing out and choose your words wisely. Moreover, not many people are disrespectful towards someone who treats them nicely. If you have kids, you will also be setting a good example of how people should be treated regardless of relationship statuses.

Think About An Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce may be a viable option if you manage to be respectful towards and find ways to work with each other. In such cases, you won’t necessarily need to hire a lawyer. A lot of additional expenses won’t be there, plus a judge will not be making decisions to structure your life. You can save $10,000 or more if you get an uncontested divorce.

Keep Your Body Active

Exercising or working out will not only help with your physical wellness but also your emotional wellness. It has been proven that exercise, even in moderate forms, can induce human brains to release endorphins that can induce better moods. You are likely to be calm, or even euphoric after a workout session, thanks to these endorphins. You can even turn it into a group activity by asking friends to join you!

Exercising regularly can also add some form of structure to your seemingly turned upside-down life. Everything may seem all over the place during a divorce; setting small goals and ticking them off your list may help you feel a sense of achievement. You will also be able to focus on the present when sweating it out instead of fretting over the past or being anxious about the future.

Attend Divorce Support Group Discussions

You may be surrounded by people you love who are ready to be there for you and offer unconditional support. All that support still doesn’t mean that you won’t feel alone. Even though everyone has unique experiences, only someone going through a divorce can truly empathize with your thoughts and feelings.

At a support group meeting, you will be able to speak, listen and relate to people going through similar things as you. You can let your frustrations out, lend an ear or maybe even pick up on coping strategies. Most importantly, you will realize that you are not alone, no matter how daunting it may seem.


The entire process of divorce can be quite taxing for the well-being of everyone involved. However, it is temporary. You will face this rigorous challenge and step into the next stage of your life. Taking proper care of yourself, following the things listed above, and keeping required materials at hand can somewhat ease the whole undertaking. The most important thing is to move on with your life. This can also mean getting back your maiden name. However, keep in mind that legal procedures may vary depending on your state of residence, so it’s essential to be well-informed about the process. For example, you can work with experts to understand how to change your name in Illinois if you live there and streamline the procedure.

You will feel anxious, tired, powerless, and have a lot of other negative emotions. Whenever you find yourself at such a low, try reminding yourself that you’ve got a new shot at life and have full control over making the best out of it.

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