The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
In any marriage, there are bound to be disagreements upon occasion. This is to be expected and it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong. In fact, it can be healthy to argue, but you must be able to end those arguments and make up. Here is a look at how to handle disagreements in a marriage.
Listen to Your Partner
When you are having an argument with your mate, you need to pay attention to what they are saying. They could have a valid reason why they are upset with you, and they are trying to let you know. You should refrain from interrupting them or talking over them.
Think About What You Want to Say
Once your spouse has told you their side, you need to think about how you want to respond. You may end up saying hurtful things if you don’t take the time to think about what you want to say. Respond to what their concerns were and if you are in the wrong, it is okay to be honest about that.
If you don’t feel that you are, you may need to continue talking about what the issue is, until you are able to reach a compromise.
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Work Through Your Feelings
At times arguments can get rather heated and you may become angry or upset. It is important for you to work through these feelings and not act out in the moment. Take a few minutes to mull over what is going on and then you can decide what to do.
For instance, if your partner is attempting to blame you for something you didn’t do, this could upset you. However, when you are able to talk to them in a calm manner and explain that you didn’t do something hurtful, this could make a big difference.
Anytime you did something that upset your partner and it wasn’t the best thing to do, you should consider an apology. This can let your spouse know that you care, and you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Of course, you shouldn’t apologize if you don’t feel like you did something wrong, since that wouldn’t be sincere. Try your best to be honest with your partner at all times, even if it may momentarily hurt their feelings.
Research shows that when there is too much tension in a marriage, it may lead to both partners being unhappy in their marriage. This is something to think about when you are working through disagreements in your household.
Consider Your Spouse’s Side
No matter if you are the one that started the argument or if it was your spouse, you should always consider their point of view. Ask yourself if they were trying to hurt you or if they did something that was malicious. In many cases, the answer is no to both of those questions, which means that it may have been an accident or an oversight.
If a person upsets you but they didn’t mean to, even though it may take some time, it is important to move on from this, where you won’t have to continue to feel angry about the circumstances.
Remember That You Love Them
When you are married to someone, you probably have a lot of history with each other. Keep this in mind whenever you are in a fight with them, or they have upset you. This may just be how they are.
Perhaps your spouse keeps putting the empty milk container back in the fridge instead of throwing it away. Have they always done this? If so, this is simply a part of their everyday behavior, and they aren’t doing this to get on your nerves.
Instead of fighting with them about it, you might find it more effective to ask them if they can stop placing an empty container in the fridge and how it makes you feel. This could cause them to instantly change this behavior.
It is okay to argue in a marriage. This can prove that you still care enough about each other to work out your issues. However, you must be fair when you are fighting and make sure that you are thinking about their point of view. It may be easy to let your emotions take over, but this could cause a bigger issue.
Take the time to clear your head and think about what you are going to say, and this may be able to end the fight in a successful manner.