Have you ever been bombarded by comments calling you a simp after complimenting a girl on social media? Or maybe your friends claimed that you were simping after jumping on the phone as soon as your crush messaged you. Do others see you as a beta-male or cuckold whatever you do? If you are fed up with all of it, read on to find out how not to be a simp.
What Is a Simp?
At first, simp (an abbreviation of simpleton) meant a foolish and gullible person. But then the internet culture came in and gave this word a completely new definition. Nowadays, the term simp is used to describe a man who willingly puts himself in a submissive position to women in hopes of winning them over. You might also say that a simp is someone who puts gals before pals.
Note that there is a huge difference between a simp and a gentleman. First of all, when a simp is kind, he always wants something in return. On the other hand, a gentleman acts out of kindness and compassion.
Secondly, a gentleman will never humiliate himself to get close to girls. Simp, however, has no problem with degrading himself if that means a girl would notice him. Finally, gentlemen prioritize their family and friends over a casual acquaintance. Contrarily, simps forget about their close ones once any girl is in sight.
How to Tell If You Are a Simp
There are telltale signs that you are a simp, some of which are included in the list below.
• Putting yourself in an inferior position to women: If you constantly let girls walk all over you without confronting them, your friends are probably right for calling you a simp. It’s one thing to sacrifice your pride for the ones you love, it’s a totally different thing to be a pushover.
• You are overly devoted: Just to be clear, paying attention to girls is perfectly normal. What’s not normal is giving all of your energy, time, and money to a person that simply isn’t interested in you. If she friend-zoned you and you are still clinging on to her in hopes of winning her over, you are a total simp.
• You use being nice as a tool: Unlike nice guys who are meek and polite, simps are simply manipulative. Their courteous behavior is just a trick, the point of which is to make women like them. However, once the charade is over, they can become quite rude and even aggressive.
• You overvalue women you don’t even know: If a woman earns your respect just by being a woman, you might be a simp. It’s OK to appreciate and honor others, even if you don’t know them well. However, going overboard and obeying someone just because of their sex is a definition of simping.
• You are suffering from White Knight Syndrome: Do you regularly find yourself defending unknown women on the internet or in real life? Although you might fancy yourself as a chivalrous white knight, you are, in all probability, just being a simp.
Don’t get me wrong, you should always protect those in need. But, more often than not, your help isn’t really necessary. You are just trying to impress a girl, and your white knight costume is not fooling anyone.
If any of these describe you, read the rest of this article for 8 valuable tips on how not to be a simp.
How to Stop Being a Simp
1. Don’t Be Anyone’s Butler
As a simp, you are constantly tempted to act at her every request. But remember, doing so won’t make you look like boyfriend material. It will make you look like a desperate man that has nothing better to do… ever. Even if you are in a relationship, this behavior will not help you gain her respect.
Instead, be respectful of your time. Even if your relationship is thriving, you shouldn’t sacrifice your whole life for it. Spend more time with friends and family, take up a hobby or sport. If her request is messing up your plans, politely refuse it. She might not like that response at the moment, but she will admire your enthusiasm and dedication.
However, don’t be an a-hole about it. Respecting your time doesn’t mean completely avoiding her. You shouldn’t ignore her messages and calls, or fake chores to appear more reserved. Be available when she actually needs you, but don’t be her butler.
2. Stop Seeking Validation
Bending over backward to get her compliment will get you nowhere. In fact, she will just think you are needy and insecure. Generally speaking, women are more attracted to confident men that are not desperate for anyone’s approval. And oddly enough, that attitude is more likely to inspire respect in others.
However, confidence isn’t something you can fake. You’ll first need to convince yourself that you are someone worthy of admiration. You can do this by saying short affirmations in the mirror every day. Although this practice might seem silly at first, it will eventually make you stand tall, and the ladies will love it.
3. Work on Yourself
Although this phrase got a bit worn out over the years, working on yourself is one of the best ways to stop simping. Simps often neglect themselves for the sake of women, which ultimately makes them weak and dull. To avoid this, you should spend less time simping for girls and more time improving yourself.
There is no single path to self-improvement. However, here are some universal tips that can get you started. First off, read books or listen to podcasts that spark your interest. Secondly, hit the gym or take up some sport. Finally, work on becoming more daring by getting out of your comfort zone from time to time.
Note that self-improvement isn’t something you do for girls, it’s something you do for yourself. Otherwise, you are just a simp with an upgrade.
4. Set Boundaries
When it comes to relationships, both partners need to set some boundaries. If you fail to do this from the beginning, you are in danger of becoming manipulated. And once that happens, you have no right to blame the girl. After all, you are the one that’s being a simp, she’s not forcing you to do anything.
Make your boundaries known as soon as you can. If you don’t like going shopping with her, tell her. If you don’t want her to see her ex anymore, let her know.
Being silent in situations such as these will be good for you two in the short run. However, sooner or later it will come back to bite you. Namely, it will make your relationship unbearable. So, if you are wondering how not to be a simp, one of the things you should do is set boundaries.
5. Prioritize Your Family and Friends
It’s OK to spend time with your crush or girlfriend. However, you should never neglect family and friends because of her. This will not only create a divide between you and your loved ones, but it will also make you appear fickle and untrustworthy.
Once your relationship becomes more serious, it’s not simping to see your significant other as your number one priority. However, until then, your family and friends should come first. So, next time she wants you to come over during a family meal or important football game, don’t be a simp, tell her you can’t make it.
6. Keep Your Cool
As a simp, you have a strange need to shower women with attention and compliments whenever you can. And although there’s nothing wrong with complimenting women from time to time, you need to know how and when to do it. Drooling over a girl will not make you look like a gentleman, it will make you look like a creep.
Stop liking and commenting on every single one of her pictures, including the ones from five years ago. Don’t defend her whenever someone makes a joke about her. Avoid complimenting her every move. These acts are not courtly, they are empty and boring. Be a gentleman, keep your cool.
7. Stop Trying Too Hard
If you are on here researching how not to be a simp, you’ve probably gone through hundreds of articles on this topic. Furthermore, most of those articles probably suggested something like asserting your dominance or improving your body language. Although some of these tips might be useful, they can do more harm than good when you implement them.
Generally speaking, the techniques from these websites are extremely effective. However, most of them are too advanced for a regular person. So, if you approach girls with some of them in mind, you’ll probably get confused and mess things up. Furthermore, this failure might discourage you from trying not to be a simp.
The best recommendation for a simp is to stick with the KISS principle. Don’t worry, that’s not another complex flirting technique, it stands for keep it simple, stupid. You don’t need cheap tricks to make girls like you. All you need to do is gather some courage and be yourself. And on that note…
8. Be Courageous
The list of advice on how not to be a simp would be incomplete without this last piece of wisdom. One character flaw that all simps share is a severe lack of courage. And, to be fair, acting boldly isn’t as easy as you want it to be. However, with time and effort, it’s possible to turn a cowardly simp into a courageous gentleman.
If you are stuck in a friend zone, don’t cling to her in hopes that she will eventually fall for you. Gather your courage and ask her out. It will be stressful at that moment, but at least you won’t suffer whenever you see her with other guys.
If some of the behavior depicted in the first part of this article describes you, there is a strong possibility that you are a simp. And if you are wondering how not to be a simp, you’ve come to the right place. Implementing some of these tips into your life can turn you into a charming and affable man. Never again will you have to wonder how not to be a simp.