It’s a tale as old as time: Men have always had a problem attracting a woman, and the modern age has not made it easier. Some men relied on weird and cringe-worthy pick-up lines they’ve read on a website somewhere. Some went the opposite direction and made entire attraction signs, which failed spectacularly.
It seems that so many men out there want to know how to find a girlfriend, but, in the immortal words of Jerry Seinfeld, can’t seem to know where to start.
If you happen to be a gentleman who wants to get himself a lady, you’re in luck. What I have for you is a handy little list of tips and tricks on how to find a girlfriend in 2020. And I know what some of you might be thinking: ‘but the Black Death is coming to get us, how can I possibly date?’
Well, keep in mind that people were meeting and falling in love during other pandemics throughout human history; don’t let a little devastation stop you from finding the woman of your dreams.
How to Find a Girlfriend: The Lowdown
Yes, there was once a time where people got together without smartphones, apps, chatrooms, and tweets. In fact, personal ads have a history that literally spans hundreds of years. But back then, a personal ad was simply the starting point. Nowadays, you can start, maintain, and end a relationship on a digital platform.
So how did people get dates in the old days? Well, they went out and sought the woman of their dreams. Knowing how to find a girlfriend really came down to finding the best spot and approaching her the right way.
With that in mind, let’s have a look at how to find a girlfriend while going out.
The Daytime Pickups
Interestingly, picking up during the daytime seems like a modern phenomenon. However, flirting and talking to women while the sun is still up is roughly as old as dating itself. Of course, the venues have changed and now you have a lot of various choices.
Generally speaking, you can pick up women at any of the following locations:
• Shopping malls
• Yoga or aerobics classes
• Pet stores
• Playgrounds (especially if you prefer single moms)
• Sporting events
• Local events and holidays
• Amusement parks
• Bus stops and train terminals
• The sidewalk
Naturally, some people go the extra mile and meet women in places such as hospitals and rehab centers. Others even go so far as to date women who are, or have been, in prison. To put it bluntly, you can get a date quite literally anywhere during the daytime.
The Pros and Cons of Daytime Pickups
When you approach a woman during the day, you’re doing it in your ‘natural’ state, unfiltered. Usually, when going out at night, both men and women tend to dress up and look their best. Not so much when you’re out and about during the day. There’s really no need to apply hair mousse or wear a suit during your weekend grocery shopping, is there?
Possibly the biggest benefit of this type of pickup is that she gets to see you as you really are. One of the first rules of any How to Find a Girlfriend guide is to be yourself and to be confident.
If you’re in a grocery store, act like you normally do and chat about everyday subjects. She will appreciate the fact that you’re not aggressively flirting — after all, you’re in a venue where people shop and you might be holding up lines or keeping people from running their errands.
Another awesome benefit of daytime pickups is that you have an opportunity to show your skills. For instance, the woman you’re interested in can see your financial prowess in a bank, or your skills with a basketball at a court. She might even see a sensitive side to you if you take your puppy out for a walk in the park. There are so many angles to approach the modern dating game that it goes well past the scope of this text.
However, there is also a downside to a daytime pickup. Normally, people who are out during the day have tons of obligations; that woman you have your eyes on might be heading to work or to an important meeting. In addition, we’re flirting sober. Alcohol lowers human inhibitions, so without it, you might act confused or anxious around a potential date.
The Nighttime Pickups
The modern times have made nighttime THE best time of day for picking up women. If you want to learn how to find a girlfriend, nightclubs and bars are the best places to start.
I cannot overemphasize just how important nightclubs and similar establishments are. They greatly contribute to local tourism and have a massive impact on the economy, no matter where you might be. The current pandemic, in particular, has shown people just how much they stand to lose if there’s no active nightlife out there.
But you and I are not here to talk about the financial importance of partying hard. No, the name of the game is How to Find a Girlfriend and the nightclubs are next on the list.
The Pros and Cons of Nighttime Pickups
As I stated earlier, alcohol lowers human inhibitions, and nightclubs tend to sell lots of it. Of course, I’m not talking about getting hammered; being just inebriated enough will do the trick. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that the right amount of alcohol will make you the light of the party.
Of course, it’s not just about alcohol. Lots of bars have an amazing atmosphere, with a blend of great ambiance and the right music. And speaking of music, few places do it better than nightclubs. Dancing and having fun will get your blood flowing, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re showing off your moves next to a fine little lady in stunning clothes.
Nighttime activities are places where women try to look their best. It’s a chance for you to see them at their prime, to see just how capable they are with clothing and makeup. Moreover, the alcohol will also make them a bit more friendly and open than usual, giving you a shot to score.
Yet, there are quite a few snags to picking up women at night. While they might be more relaxed than they are during the daytime, some of them tend to be arrogant or aloof, i.e. not really suitable for dating. You should remember that girls sometimes just want to have fun, so they might shut you down simply for the fun of it.
There are also some objectively difficult obstacles when figuring out how to find a girlfriend at a nightclub. The music is awesome for dancing, but it’s absolutely dreadful if you want to have a conversation. Also, by being in a nightclub, you risk witnessing illegal drug deals, fistfights, or massive amounts of cock-blockage from other men.
Dating Within Your Social Circle
This particular method of finding dates is quite literally the oldest, but it does cover a broad spectrum. Here are all of the people that make up your social circle:
• Your closest family members
• Distant relatives
• Next-door neighbors
• Other neighbors
• Former or current classmates
• Former or current collegemates
• Co-workers, clients, bosses, etc.
• Close friends
• Distant friends
• Frequent acquaintances
• People who work near you
• People you see somewhat frequently (your doctor, dentist, the vet of your pets, etc.)
Figuring out how to find a girlfriend in your social circle can be both the easiest and the hardest thing in the world. In the olden days, your parents would set you up with a random girl and that would be the end of it. But we’re not talking about mom and pop pulling your weight — we’re talking about approaching the lady yourself.
The Pros and Cons of Dating Within Your Social Circle
Imagine dating your neighbor or the lady who works at your local grocery store. How convenient is that? Well, here’s a list that illustrates it:
• She’s right there, literally a few seconds away from you
• You’ve known her for a while now
• If she’s your neighbor and it becomes serious, you can combine and expand your households
• If she’s working at a local store, you can get discounts
• She already knows how reliable you are
• She knows your family members (and you know hers), so you can skip the “meeting her parents” part
• You can carpool easily when going on dates
• If there’s a chance to score, you can literally do it at her place or yours (or at the store, if you’re kinky)
Now, it’s not guaranteed that you’ll know everything about this girl even if she is your neighbor. But once you forge that bond with her, it will definitely be stronger than the one formed with a girl you met at the bar.
Of course, the biggest drawback of this type of date hunting is the effort you have to put in. Remember, sometimes that girl in your social circle might just see you as a friend. In order to make her develop a romantic or sexual attraction towards you, you have to work hard and prove yourself to be a productive member of your clique.
More importantly, there’s always a risk of what can happen after a breakup. If you end it with a girl you’ve met at the bar, it will hurt, but at least she doesn’t live down the street from your home. When you break it off with a neighbor or the local grocery store girl, you have to endure years of awkward glances, snide remarks, or even outright fights.
Dating Websites and Apps
It’s 2020, and the How to Find a Girlfriend topic will inevitably come back to internet dating. In the early days of the World Wide Web, such websites had limited capacity and interactivity. Nowadays, your phone is the best possible tool for finding a date online. There’s an entire billion-dollar industry in online dating, and close to 40% of couples actually met and fell in love using this dating method.
But learning how to find a girlfriend using an app isn’t as simple as it sounds. After all, there are so many apps and websites out there that some of them are bound to be scams. So, before you start working on your online profile, you have to know what you’re doing.
How to Find a Girlfriend Online: Best Dating Apps Out There
Picking the right dating app isn’t easy. It really comes down to what you want out of the platform (finding a sex partner, a lover, a potential wife, a friend with benefits, etc.). Here are a few reliable and scam-free apps that both my friends and I have personally used in the past:
• Tinder: it takes a few swipes to find that right person, and the interface is incredibly simple
• Bumble: a perfect Tinder alternative for women with a 24-hour timer that promotes fast and expedient responses
• Hinge: an expansive app that lets you know as much as possible about your potential date
• OkCupid: a splendid platform if you’re seeking a long-term relationship
• Happn: an app that focuses on people closest to your current location
• The League: high-class, elite dating that requires a lot of professional and educational info from you
The Downside of Dating Apps
Most of the dating world is aware of the benefits of knowing how to find a girlfriend using apps and websites. It’s quick, easy, and doesn’t require you to even leave the house. However, there are quite a few serious setbacks there. Once again, I believe that a list is in order:
• People can embellish their profiles (or outright lie)
• You are susceptible to scams
• An app can be unreliable or crash frequently
• Even if you like the profile of the girl, chances are high that she might end up being incompatible
• Some of the magic of regular dating is lost.
How to Find a Girlfriend: Some Concrete Tips
Now that you know about the venues and how they differ, you and I can move onto proper dating tips. I’ll cover each ‘tip bundle’ related to the locations and methods I’ve listed earlier.
• Approach a girl naturally
• Be mindful of the setting; if you’re in a shopping mall, you might be preventing her from shopping
• When talking, cover a topic related to where you two are
• Be flirty, but not aggressive
• Compliment her skills and her choice of merchandise rather than her looks
• If she’s with a pet, be playful with it
• If she’s with a child, talk to both of them equally
• Make sure you dress up; looks aren’t everything, but you still shouldn’t dress like a slob
• Enjoy the music and don’t be afraid to dance
• Be energetic
• Don’t be too pushy when rejected; there are plenty of girls at the club
• Offer to buy her a drink
• When you find the right space, strike up a conversation
• Compliment her looks; she dressed up for a reason
Within Your Social Circle
• Be the best version of you as often as possible
• Learn everything you can about her; don’t rely on the image you have of her from your childhood
• If she rejects you, don’t take it personally and maintain good relations
• If she accepts you, don’t rush with anything; take it easy and let it flow naturally
Using an App
• Make sure the app is safe; ask what your friends are using or read customer and tech reviews
• Your profile shouldn’t be too bland or too complex; perfect balance is key
• Don’t immediately ask for sexual stuff when chatting with a girl; just because it’s an app doesn’t mean you have to act like a creep
• When scoring a girlfriend, delete the app, but keep the account running in case a breakup happens
How to Find a Girlfriend: Final Thoughts
Mastering how to find a girlfriend in 2020 is an art form on its own. However, when you invest enough time and energy, you’ll be scoring dates left, right, and center. One last piece of advice would be not to stick to just one method. Try as many of the ones I listed as possible and you’ll have a rich, profound dating life with lots of potential life lessons to learn.