what to do in a situationship

What To Do When You Find Yourself In A Situationship

Remember when the sign of a new relationship was updating your Facebook status? It was the be-all and end-all form of commitment. This little update would spread like wildfire amongst your closest friends and probably not-so-close pals too. Dwelling over a Facebook relationship status is long gone, but that doesn’t mean defining a relationship is any easier.

If you’re seeing someone but haven’t fully defined it, you may be in a situationship. This term typically means something more than just a one-night-stand but not a fully-committed relationship. The person you’re spending time with is more than a friend, but you don’t call each other “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” Because society typically likes things defined, a situationship can be a tricky spot to find yourself. Even if you’re happy, others may push to know how committed you two are.

That said, your romantic life is personal. As long as you and your partner respect each other, then there’s no reason to worry about defining your relationship. However, there are some things to consider if you find yourself in a situationship. Keep reading for four tips on how to navigate a situationship.

1. Have Fun Safely

Romantic relationships should be fun. You should enjoy spending time with this person and want to continue seeing them regularly. In a situationship, however, it’s also important to remember that you aren’t necessarily committed to one another. Your relationship is casual, and it might not be monogamous. You should be upfront with each other when it comes to safe sex practices.

While this may be a slightly taboo topic, it’s vital to discuss for your safety and overall health. You should never assume the person you are with is not having sex with anybody else. And you also shouldn’t assume that they are practicing safe sex. Fortunately, if you find yourself in a situationship, you can get online birth control rather quickly and seamlessly. This means that you can continue to have fun with your partner in a safe, precautionary way.

2. Set and Keep Clear Boundaries

Another important aspect of a situationship is boundary setting. Setting boundaries can be difficult, so be sure you give yourself some grace with this one. You likely have a friend that you can no longer hang out with because they only spend time with their significant other. This isn’t fair to you as a friend or to their partner for that matter either. It can lead to conflict if romantic partners spend too much time together and forget about other personal relationships.

Setting clear boundaries is essential in a situationship because it means you’re remaining true to yourself. To establish clear boundaries, make sure you schedule time for things you enjoy. This could mean attending your regularly scheduled yoga class, going on a post-work walk, or eating out with friends. Don’t push aside all your plans for the person you are seeing.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Open and honest communication is vital for maintaining any kind of relationship. From friendships to romantic relationships, communication is how you and the other individual remain on the same page. In situationships, regular communication is essential to understanding what each other wants and needs. Your expectations may change, and that’s alright. However, you need to be honest with yourself and any partners about how you’re feeling.

Let’s say you started seeing this person from time-to-time but are now seeing them nearly everyday. What you want from your partner now may be different than what you originally wanted. Be sure to set aside time for authentic conversations. Turn off any distractions, and have important conversations in-person so you can note each other’s facial cues.

Remember to check-in often with each other to ensure you’re both getting what you desire. If you expected a situationship to turn into something else, and it’s not, it may be time to move on. Don’t invest your emotions into a relationship that’s not what you want.

4. Enjoy the Freedom

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, enjoy the freedom that comes with a situationship. You aren’t nailed down and your feelings aren’t either. If you want to see another person, that’s up to you. If you want to sell your home and travel the world, that’s up to you. Your decisions are your decisions, and the person you’re seeing casually shouldn’t have control over them.

Having this freedom may be a new concept to you. If you were in a committed relationship before, you may feel like you need to check in. However, a situationship isn’t defined in the same way. That said, if you decide to date someone else, be sure to let your situationship partner know, so they aren’t surprised. Enjoy the freedom, but don’t lie or go behind anyone’s back while doing so.


Being in a situationship should be a fun, carefree experience. It’s a time for you to enjoy yourself and experience the freedom of casual dating. In order to continue to have this fun, just be sure that you are taking some precautions. Never assume anything about the person you’re seeing, no matter how nice or friendly they may seem. Remain true to yourself, your needs, and your romantic aspirations for a harmless, flirty situationship.

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